Continuing with the story from yesterday, I had to order a small part to fix up the Porsche. Problem is, the particular piece of plastic is a special order item, which in combination with the Presidents Day holiday yesterday means I will have to wait a relatively long time the part to arrive at my doorstep (and hopefully not stolen). The extended wait is long and agonizing because I want nothing more than to repair the 911 as quickly as possible, however cosmetic and superficial the damage may be (thank god for that).
For better and worse, that’s just how my mind functions: any task worth doing, I’d like to get it done swiftly. I can remember back in my teens of forgoing meals and sleep on numerous occasions because the home-built PC was malfunctioning and I simply could not mentally bare doing anything else until the fix is finished. No surprised then I moved away from PCs later on in life and migrated over to Apple’s Macintosh. With Apple, at least I can go to sleep, knowing there’s nothing I can do about my broken Mac until my appointment at the Apple Store.
Not to say the waiting game isn’t anxiety-filled: the mind starts going through worse-case scenarios when the outcome of a job is unknown. It’s why I try to speed up the process as much as I can, to silence those voices in my head (Randy Orton theme song plays). Indeed, I could have paid for expedited shipping for the Porsche part, but the need to alleviate my anxiety was outmatched by my spending sensibilities. Instead, I’ll deal with the ambiguity that comes with the wait, difficult as it sometimes can be.
So I preoccupy myself with other tasks, which probably isn’t the best thing to do because the underlying problem is still there, but at some point you have to keep moving forward. Unlike Amazon Prime one-day shipping, life doesn’t acquiesce to your just-in-time wants quite so easily. Processes takes time; and even though I crave the calm that comes after a task is done, there will be others to come, and the anxiety renews again. I have to learn to be calm while things are in-flux, which as always, is a work in progress.
Family games.