Cynicism — Blog — Healy Chen

Gray so gray

The drudgery of summer here in San Francisco have gotten slightly depressive, even for jolly ole me. The western side of the city remains constantly blanketed by a cloud of fog on most days. An unpleasant situation for receiving those mood-positive vitamin Ds from the sun. Even though I’m grateful for the coolness during the night, the grayish overcast during the day can be rather oppressive.

I thought of Conan O’Brien’s sign off during his last episode as host of The Tonight Show. (Shame forever on Jay Leno for forcing Conan out of his dream job.) Despite the clear unfairness done to him, Conan cautioned us to not ever be cynical:

"I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch: please do not be cynical. I hate cynicicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you: amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. It's just true."

It seems every time I get into a bit of a funk, I go back to this Conan quote. Indeed, nobody in life gets exactly what they want. What you thought something would be turns out to be completely different. That girl you like just might not like you back. Where you are right now isn’t where you’d thought just five years ago. But that’s okay. Like Conan says, you just have to be kind, and keep working at whatever it is that you do. Take some risks, make some decisions, and deal with the consequences head on.

What I’m working on these days is being first to communicate. If I encounter something and it makes me think of someone, I try not to hesitate to text that person. Typically, I would be paralyzed with anxiety and simply not make the effort. What if that person finds it bothersome? What if they don’t text me back? What if we haven’t talked in a while, and I come off as weird? I’m trying to fight against that programming.

The point is to let it out into the world. Whether that boomerang comes back is out of my control. Best case, however, it sparks some conversations that otherwise wouldn’t ever have happened - if I didn’t make the effort.

Your best, no matter what

It’s been said that if you’e not cynical or jaded about your job, you just haven't work there long enough. As a relatively younger person amongst the ranks, I often see it in coworkers who have been there longer. My optimism and willingness to go the extra steps often gets perceived not so much with disdain, but a disapproving head shake. It seems my more experienced colleagues have gone down this road before, keen to tamper my enthusiasm with the realities of the real world.

Perhaps they are right, and soon enough I too will collect enough years to become this apathetic. From my perspective right now, however, I think such cynicism is such a terrible way to go about work.

In a customer-facing job, there’s always going to be a certain percentage who are difficult to deal with. I don’t think that should mean we deal with those customers with any less attention and care than the rest. Even if some of them don’t deserve any amount of pleasant treatment, providing good service is still my job. Is it always going to be worth the effort? Probably not, but then again why should I change how I do things just because someone is tough to handle?

They deserve the same treatment as a customer who isn’t as needy.

Mind you this isn’t about immolating myself to keep other warm: outright rudeness will never be tolerated. Though it goes both ways, doesn’t it? I shouldn’t meet rudeness with more of it in return. It accomplishes nothing, only making the situation worse.

I greatly appreciate the guidance and wisdom of my older coworkers. I draw from their well of knowledge daily. However, I highly disagree with their learned cynicism, and I endeavor to not become like that the longer I stay on this job.