Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large.

First sunny day

Easter Sunday was the first warm and sunny day of 2023, and it seems San Franciscans were out and about in full force. Even the homebody me went to the Mission Dolores area for a bit of afternoon sun and food. I get it: after an intense winter of cold and rain, the desire to be outside in the sunshine is strong. Dolores Park was absolutely jammed packed with revelers. In celebration of Easter, there was a Foxy Mary and Hunky Jesus contest. It is exactly what you think it is, and how appropriate it is for San Francisco to turn Christianity into a beauty contest.

Sometimes I feel like a tourist in my own city, because I typically stay home so much. The fun activities that people do, the unique districts that people hang out in: there’s plenty I’ve actually never partake. Yesterday we sat in an outdoor parklet for hours, just drinking and eating sliders. You know what’s great? The widespread availability of non-alcoholic beers at bars now. It’s great for people like me who really prefer to not drink alcohol.

I also had Bi-Rite ice cream for the first time. An apparent San Francisco institution that my friends chastised me for never having. The line around the block is a show of its popularity. I don’t think my homebody tendencies can be blamed here: I simply don’t eat a lot of ice cream. Fat and sugar may be a splendid combination for taste, but not so great when it comes to health. But for a sunny and mid 70s afternoon in San Francisco, two scoops on a waffle cone is quite amazing. I am disappointed that Bi-Rite does not offer my favorite flavor: rocky road.

Will I spend more time outside now during the weekends? Probably not. Tendencies and habits are tough to break. I have to say though I do enjoy it immensely during the few occasions that I do. Easter Sunday afternoon in the Mission was lovely. It’s the sort of San Francisco atmosphere that people flock to.

Not another one

It was a shock yesterday morning to find out local entrepreneur Bob Lee (whom I honestly have never heard of until yesterday) was stabbed to death in the early morning near the Rincon towers. A ritzy part of San Francisco downtown that you typically wouldn’t associate with violence. But nothing like a rich white guy getting killed, seemingly senselessly, to garner widespread outrage. Where was the same energy for that Asian kid who got stabbed on the bus?

Discussion is good. We need to continue talking about how bad crime has become in San Francisco. Those who cite numbers to the contrary can shove it. Car break ins happen daily, unabated. Homeless encampments everywhere. There’s open drug markets in the Tenderloin district. Rampant retail theft is forcing store closures. Sure, the odds of me getting stabbed in San Francisco is lower than other cities, but in this case, feelings don’t care about your facts. We don’t feel safe!

Feelings vote. Either with feet (plenty of people have moved out of the region), or at the ballot box. We successfully recalled our disastrous previous District Attorney, and voted in someone who does prosecute. The heavily Asian Sunset district voted out an incumbent Chinese supervisor. Anyone in government who continues to allow for the status quo will soon arrive at the finding out phase of fucking around and find out.

Tech bros (and brodettes) have lots of power in San Francisco. I hope Bob Lee’s death will not be in vain. Let the outcry of his death add to the chorus of discontent that may then grow into an absolute avalanche. Rest in peace.

Varying viewpoints

On campus recently I passed by a flier for an event advocating for protecting women sports. I guess the subject matter pertains to a discussion of whether or not trans women (biologically born men who now identify as women) belong in women athletics. This particularly group seems to be advocating for exclusion.

It’s good to see this type of discussion being allowed on campus. Let’s face it, college campuses skew heavily to the left, and this one is in San Francisco of all places. It’s rare to see other viewpoints out in the open. Straying from dogmatic left positions leaves one open to ridicule at best, cancellation at worst. No conservative-leaning student would risk showing up to campus with a MAGA hat. The “speech is violence” crowd would pounce immediately.

Yesterday, the campus community received at email from the VP of students to the affect the university has a duty to protect the first amendment. To allow free and open discussion on varying topics, from varying sides. You have a right to protest speech you don’t like, but you do not have the right to shut it down. I have to think this is in response to the protecting women sports event. I sure hope that event happened without fuss.

Because I think it’s very important to have open discussion on a college campus. A marketplace for ideas to duke it out. A gathering of information from all sides so students can critically think for themselves. What I don’t want is for campuses to become an echo-chamber of far-left ideology. These kids are then taught what to think instead of how to think. Those who oppose are effectively silenced due to the crippling social costs of speaking out.

I’m glad my campus is a place where an event on the other side of the trans right discussion can happen.

Regrets of the dying

Yesterday, my family went to see my maternal grandfather in the nursing home. He is 93, hugely diabetic, and struggling through his last days. My brother and I were there to pay our last respects, if you will. While I would say that 93 years is a sufficiently long life, the pain that comes with end of life is still a difficult watch. Grandfather could opt out of dialysis and go in a matter of days, but he continues to cling to life. Who can blame him?

The whole time I was there, I kept thinking of Bronnie Ware’s book: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. I wonder what regrets my grandfather has, if any? Sadly, not a question I can ask, because at this point he doesn’t even recognize who I am. For those wondering, here are the top five regrets, courtesy of Wikipedia:

"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
"I wish I hadn't worked so hard."
"I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings."
"I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."
"I wish that I had let myself be happier."

I know one regret I would have: making dumb health choices when I’m young, only for me to suffer later in life. What’s the point of living into the 90s when you’re bed and house-ridden for the final decade plus? I don’t see that as a very good life. This is why I hugely about the three pillars of getting enough sleep, eating correctly, and consistent exercise. Now, when I’m still in my 30s. I want to live a long time, yes, but I want that long time to also be as functional as possible. God willing, of course.

This is why I push my retired parents to be as active as possible, and get enough protein. Let my grandfather be an example of how not to end up during our respective end of days. It’s a tremendous burden on yourself and your loved ones.

A decade has passed

Last week at work there was a celebration of years-of-service milestones for the campus staff (in increments of five years). I was amongst the group celebrating 10 years of service time. A full decade has passed since I became full-time staff at the university - what a thing to realize! So much for seeing this job as something temporary before moving on to something more pertinent (I’ve got a degree in business, after all). 10 years on, I don’t see myself changing from this - unless something drastic happens. I’m in it until the end.

And honestly, that is not a bag thing at all. This campus job is steady, I’m reasonably decent at it, and during off hours I never have to think about it. The stress to income ratio is just about right. Most of my friends make more than I do, but I wouldn’t want their stress and work schedules. Besides, comparing yourself to others is how you end up feeling bad about somehow not being as “ambitious.” Asian parents will definitely get on you for not striving for more (money).

But that would be living to the expectation of others. The want for a (supposedly) higher station in life should come from within: striving for the sake of striving itself. What you don’t want is to feel trapped in the momentum of a certain path, as dictated by society. People are so focused on achieving the next thing they never stop to think whether that next thing is even something they intrinsically want. Adding to the problem is their lifestyle have already acquiesced to a certain level of income (lifestyle creep). They can’t get off the hamster wheel: private school for the kids needs paying.

I feel lucky to have avoided that trap. More money would be nice, but the additional stress that inevitably comes from it is not worth trading life energy for. I work so that I don’t have to work, if you get what I mean.

Please sir, no more

I really need to stop buying books. There’s still so many on my shelves currently that I’ve yet to read. Just this week, four more books arrived from the overlords at Amazon. The COVID pandemic may be over, but my personal pandemic of compulsive book buying is here to stay. What I should do is stop listening to podcasts, because that’s where I usually get book recommendations from. The hosts would interview some interesting person releasing a book, and I would immediately go one click purchase (trademark) on Amazon.

No wonder book tours include going on podcasts.

There’s also the problem of running out of shelf space. The two Billy bookcases in my room is full (man have they gotten expensive since I bought them three years ago), and I prefer not to get more shelving. That money would be better used towards buying more books! My solution to this is to slowly donate the books I’ve already read. The rule: any new book I buy, one on the shelf has to go. Fortunately, it’s super easy to donate my used books. Our university library has a book donation drop-off. So I simply have to bring the books with me to work.

I would donate to the San Francisco Public Library - there’s a branch literally down the block from me. Sadly they do not except donations at branch locations. There’s a central spot on the other side of the city that accepts them. My housemate recently hauled a bunch of his old books over there. I on the hand will not be wasting gas for this endeavor. Sorry, SFPL: decrease friction if you want my donations!

There’s nothing better than an early Saturday morning, reading a book in front of my room window (with a requisite cup of coffee, of course). No need for any grand travel adventures; that simplicity is what satisfies me these days.

Okay maybe not

Okay so maybe I won’t be buying a new Civic Type R anytime soon. Not because I can’t at any moment, but rather it doesn’t seem the prudent thing to do. Everybody’s trying to cut cost these days, right? Look at all the layoffs from tech companies. They’re still very profitable, but are battening down the hatches for the proverbial raining day that can’t seem to arrive. It’s never wrong to save a bit of money, though on a company level I do feel for the folks out of jobs. It’s horrible to get laid off.

On a personal level, keeping cash in the bank - instead of buying a second “toy” car when I already don’t drive my primary car much - is the strategy right now. Interest rates have never been this high for people of our cohort. I think the rates were higher back when we were in high school, but come on, as if we had money to stuff in the bank during those days. A high yield savings account is giving nearly 4% in risk-free returns. It is time to reap, rather than spend. Let compounding do some work.

And honestly, buying and managing another car would just add additional stress. Instead of moving one car for street cleaning, I would have to move two. Maintenance is times two. Worrying about some jackass messing with the cars whilst parked is also doubled. Is that what I really want? Never mind the financial hole I would dig myself into for yet another car. All of it go against my living ethos of keeping things as simple as possible.

I can afford to (or is it can’t afford not to) be patient and wait. Now is not the time to dump a lot of cash on a thing I absolutely do not need.