Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large.

Be careful why you strive for

The movie The Menu. Ralph Fiennes plays a renowned chef that serves an exclusive clientele on a private island. As the evening goes on, the guests’ past misdeeds come back to haunt them in devastating fashion. Of the many messages to garner from this film, the one that stuck with me is: Fiennes’ character was happiest when he was just a lowly cook making fast food cheeseburgers.

Imagine that: this famous chef, with patrons paying thousands for a table, a stable of cooks under him, is not happy. All the striving for money and recognition cannot compete with the complete satisfaction of cooking a good cheeseburger. Be cautious of the achievement treadmill! Much like the hedonic treadmill, the pitfall is the state of being unsatisfied until blank happens. What happens then is you’ll always be miserable, because there’s always something else to chase after achieving the current thing.

Look at car enthusiasts with vast collections, or the not-so-rich enthusiasts who can’t seem to keep the same car around (that’s me!). The endless desire for something new and different causes us to forget how much we wanted the thing we currently have, and how happy we were - momentarily, it would seem - when we first got it. If I could do it all over again, I probably would have kept the 2016 Mazda Miata I had until now.

There’s happiness to be found in stasis. There’s got to be a reasonable endpoint to all the striving. After which we chase after new goals for the sake of them alone, and not because they will bring additional units of happiness - because they won’t. Reflect on whether that new thing or achievement is really what you want. I think if Fiennes’ character can do it all over again, he would have kept making cheeseburgers as just another cook in a kitchen.

Haight musings

A few weeks back on a Friday evening, my friend group gathered for a night of pizza and movie. We did so at one friend’s apartment, of course - who wants the hassle of actually going out? I haven’t done pizza and movie at a restaurant and theatre since high school. The local Century theatre had a Round Table Pizza right next to it. Back when we can barely scrape together enough cash for food and film. Funny how that works: the age I most want to go out and do stuff is precisely the age I don’t have any of my own money at all.

Thanks, mom and dad.

Nowadays I rather spend a Friday evening staying in. That said, we still have to physically go buy the pizza to-go. We went to this particular joint nearby in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood. As the kids would say these days, the Haight was “lit” on a Friday night. The restaurants and bars were teeming with people celebrating a fortuitous start to the weekend, after a long week at work. I quite dig that atmosphere, even though I’m not keen to partake.

And neither are my friends. We were never the type to go out to bars on a Friday evening. I for one seldom drink alcohol, and loathe to spend money on the marked-up stuff in bars. Secondly, the parking situation in areas such as the Haight is rightfully horrendous. I’m the type that doesn’t like going to places where parking is difficult to find (there aren’t parking garages in these residential neighborhoods). Though I guess it should be easier, now that UBER is a thing? Or maybe not: there’s also an increased cadre of food delivery people.

Indeed we could’ve had those pizza delivered, but we’re one of the few (?) who still prefers to go pick up to-go food orders. The delivery fees attached to services like Doordash and Grubhub are outrageous. Just as I don’t like to pay mark-up on alcohol, I also don’t like paying mark-up on food. Besides, the way to do it is have your friend double-park the car while you go inside the restaurant to pick up. Teamwork!

Really passionate people

Recently, a friend adopted a two-year old dog from the local SPCA. The pit bull-terrier mix, named Chumley, is absolutely adorable when he is around humans. However, when he is around other dogs, things unfortunately get a bit barky and bitey. It seems in his previous life, Chumley’s relationship with fellow dogs was not the smoothest. He would be fine one minute, then lunge and attack suddenly. A snap change in demeanor that thus far have led to two dogs bitten (nothing severe, thankfully), and a wounded human hand.

Chumley’s adopted mother - my friend - is rightfully distraught. The thought that your dog cannot get along with other dogs - to the point of hurting them - is just about the worse for a dog owner. It’s like having a kid that cannot stop beating other kids up at school. Ultimately, you the parent is responsible and must take corrective action. But that’s what she signed up for, isn’t it? These rescue dogs end up at shelters for a reason, and it’s most likely not out of a good situation. It’s the duty of the adoptee to take on that responsibility, to change and rehabilitated the bad parts.

A far more noble undertaking than simply buying a puppy from a breeder. All the offense.

Thank god there are trainers out there who can recognize, diagnose, and treat the unpleasant behaviors out of dogs. Without these kind and passionate people, many maladaptive dogs would need to be put down. It’s no hyperbole to call them miracle workers. Chumley has only taken two lessons thus far, and the change we’ve seen is utterly dramatic. The road ahead is still long in terms of comfortably allowing him to mingle freely with other dogs, but we can at least see that he is able to change his behavior, and is quick to learn.

Deadly walking

Yesterday my housemate came back from a walk in utter shock. He almost got run over by a car at the major intersection near our home. The asshole driver went straight from a protected left turn lane - essentially running the straight red. Housemate had the right-of-way in crossing the intersection. The driver didn’t stop, even after making eye-contact. Despicable.

We’ve always felt that intersection to be fairly dangerous. For a major thoroughfare that intersects a street that flows into a mall, it really needs protected turn lanes on all four sides. Instead, only one side have left turning privileges with a dedicated green arrow. Crossing that street as a pedestrian we’re fighting cars wanting to turn left (and right) before the brief green is over. You absolutely cannot have your face in your smartphone when doing so: make sure cars are stopped before you proceed.

That’s the reason my housemate didn’t get seriously hurt - he was paying attention to traffic.

You know how people put dash-cam in their cars to record evidence in case of accidents? (One of my favorite channels on YouTube is a compilation of these type of recordings.) Perhaps pedestrians need personal dash-cams as well when walking through these dangerous intersections. Before crossing, start an instagram live stream just so there’s evidence being saved to the cloud, should you get run over by a car.

Rightly or wrongly, the onus is on the pedestrian to pay absolute attention at all times. It’s a matter of physics: you the person is magnitudes smaller than a multi-ton car that moves rapidly. So what if you have the right-of-way and the offending driver is in the wrong? You’re dead. For sure in a more perfect society we wouldn’t have to be so vigilant. But yesterday’s episode with my housemate shows, self preservation comes first.

Doing nothing that costs nothing

Recently I saw on television a commercial for vacation rentals. The tagline was you can get away to some place from home and do absolutely nothing. Just chill on the beach, or on the deck of the rental. To escape the hustle and bustle of your regular life.

To the advert I remarked, “Wait a minute, I can do nothing right at home!”

It’s rather absurd that someone needs to spend thousands of dollar to fly somewhere simply to do nothing. I on the other hand try to do so every Saturday. I greatly admire the Jewish tradition of Shabbat (and the Christian sabbath equivalent). Adherents abstain from any type of manual labor from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. It is pure leisure for 24 hours. A mini vacation every single week, if you will.

I love that idea. After a week of busting ass at work and taking care of chores at home, it’s good to take a pause. Otherwise, what’s the point of working? Isn’t it ultimately to buy more free time? (Beyond the basic food and shelter stuff.) The brand of hustle culture that makes you feel guilty for lethargy on weekends is utterly toxic. To fill every waking hour with “productivity” and “self improvement” is how you get burned out. That’s how you speed-run through life, always onto the next task.

That was me.

Here’s my ideal Saturday morning these days: wake up and make coffee. Then sit in front the window drinking that coffee while listening to music for the next two hours or so. No social media, no YouTube. Only the sounds out of the speakers and the view out the window. Can you do that without the urge to grab your smartphone?

How are you all affording these?

As I walk around campus these days, I notice the various headphones people wear. As ever, Apple products are supremely popular amongst the young crowd. What is surprisingly however is the prevalence of people with the AirPods Max - a pair that costs $549. Even at its lowest Black Friday discount price, the top of the range AirPods are still $449. How the heck are college students affording these cans? Who spends that much money on headphones?

Perhaps I’m simply bitter that the AirPods Max does not fit my admittedly enormous head. The clamping force is too much, even at maximum extension of the ear cups. I bought a pair last year at a heavily discounted price of a still hefty $400, and sadly had to return them. The AirPods Max do sound amazing, but it’s probably for the best I didn’t keep them because spending that much money when I already have a set of Bose QC35 headphones is kind of ridiculous.

And I’m very much not a college student. I have disposable income!

I reckon my goals of austerity this year is going well thus far. With interest rates at relative historic highs, I’m trying to stuff as much money into savings as possible. I should be able to pay off the BMW M2 this year, thanks to earned interest in addition to the regular savings. Having that debt off my books grants me freedom to do other things, like paying extra for better seats on a plane.

The book Your Money or Your Life really shifted my perspective on new spending. Not that I was entirely profligate before, but I definitely like nice things (mainly, cars). The book frames money as life energy. After all, we have to work for money, and the prime currency (if you will) we trade for cold hard cash is our time. Therefore, anything you may want to buy should be viewed through the lens of how much of your life energy is required to afford it.

This is how I was able to avoid spending $79 on a Fitbit recently. That’s more than two hours of working, for something that is a nice to have. I’m not desperate to monitor my heart rate at all times; just continue to live healthily as I am now.

It's windy sideways!

Man is it windy out there! Starting yesterday afternoon, the San Francisco Bay Area has been experiencing an epic wind storm, with gusts well above 50 MPH. On campus, a giant tree toppled onto a building. When walking outside I literally had to hold onto my hat, head down so that debris doesn’t get into the eyes. More of the same today, with addition of rain and very cold temperatures. Bundle up and lotion up!

As a car enthusiast, the one thing I worry about during these windy weather patterns is my street-parked car. I’ve an irrational fear of a rouge trashcan getting blown by the wind right into my BMW M2. Good thing trash day was the day before yesterday’s wind storm. And good thing I actually moved my car into my work’s covered parking structure. Ah, the privilege of living so close to work: I can utilize its facilities to the full potential. The reason I don’t park the M2 there all the time is I like to look at it parked out front of the house through my window.

That’s the one downside about tree-lined streets: during wind and rain storms the plants can turn deadly. To things and humans. On the walk home yesterday through the wind I purposely avoided walking under trees. Can’t risk a branch falling off and ending it all right there. That stuff can happen during the best of times: I remember the woman who died from a fallen tree branch at Golden Gate Park. Horrible way to die, and who can you blame but the act of god?

I think it’s important to be alert and aware of the surroundings whenever you’re outside, no matter how adverse or not the weather is. Get your head out of the smartphone and look around instead. There’s lots of AAPI hate these days: walk around unawares and a Infiniti G37 sedan might pull up unnoticed and rob you. Got to be careful out there!