Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large.

You'll miss it when it's gone

I go almost every Friday over to my friends’ house to see their two boys. Well, primarily for a free dinner, but it doesn’t change the fact the kids are there as well. At the tender age of six and four, the changes week by week can be rapid. One week you can kiss the eldest hello and goodbye, then the next he doesn’t want you to anymore. Because he learned at school that’s not what boys do. At least I’m not the mother who got asked to stop calling him “baby”. That must hurt!

This is why when it comes to young kids, I’ve come up with a saying: “You’ll miss it when it’s gone.” Especially the minor things you currently complain about with their behavior. Still wanting you to feed them food even though they’re six years old? You’ll miss the bonding time when they soon would rather eat by themselves, away from the dinner table. Asking you too many questions with that typically endless curiosity of kid? You’ll miss it come the teenage years, and it’s you who desperately want to communicate.

I’m not sure my friends appreciate me saying they’ll miss it when it’s gone. After all, I’m only there for about three hours out of the week. I don’t have to deal with those behavioral annoyances constantly. It’s entirely possible that if and when I have kids of my own, my tune would be different. Feed you? Feed yourself! You’re six! Carry you? You can walk just fine.

One things for sure: if I do have kids, they will get my absolute undivided attention. The time for hobbies and personal interests is over. Any kid will and should usurp all of those things. I come home from a long day at work and guess what? It’s time to play with the kids. No more piano practice. No more joys of reading.

Which is why I’m not in any hurry.

A tall crane

My neighborhood is the residential type with homes no taller than three stories. The tallest thing nearby is San Francisco State University, of which the highest building on campus is nine stories. The university is in the middle of constructing a new science building. Consequently, a giant crane have been erected for that purpose. This thing absolutely dominates the skyline, and honestly, a bit of an eye sore.

I get it now: I can see why NIMBYs all over protest against tall, dense housing. It’s not very nice to have your horizon of pure sky suddenly get obstructed with some monstrosity. What NIMBYs have to do is admit that is the real reason for their opposition - in additional to lowering the values of their home, of course. They chose to buy in a suburban area, and indeed it would suck to have that changed from under them.

Saves us the "we don’t want luxury apartments and developers to get rich” bullshit.

Just because I understand NIMBYs, doesn’t mean I am with them. San Francisco need to build more housing, full stop. And it cannot all be concentrated in the north east part of the city. Our nearby Stonestown mall is planning to develop addition apartments and shop areas to surround the existing mall. It’ll be interesting to see if it gets approval, because the skyline of our neighborhood will be changing with it.

Who knows if I’ll even be around to see that come to fruition. Not because I’d be dead, but because I might have moved away. Major constructions in this country - unless it’s a stadium/arena for a sports team - takes a long time. That aforementioned science building at San Francisco State won’t be complete for another four years!

Not so magic keyboard

Recently I got my hands on an Apple Magic Keyboard with Touch ID. This tiny piece of aluminum and plastic costs a whopping $150 dollars. A $50 dollar premium over the already expensive Magic Keyboard that doesn’t have Touch ID. All for the privilege of unlocking your Mac with your finger.

I was intrigued: my MacBook Pro lives “clamshell” mode plugged into a Pro Display XDR at all times. Therefore I don’t use the built-in keyboard. Which means I can’t use the built-in Touch ID sensor. Gone is the convenience advantage to not having to type in my password every time. It’s the one feature I miss most in running the MacBook Pro in closed position.

The $150 dollar keyboard from Apple fixes this problem, but I was never going to pay that kind of money just for the convenience. And now that I’ve had one on hand to test, my choice is confirmed. Indeed it is wonderful to be able to wake and unlock the Mac from sleep in one press of the button. However, the keyboard itself is utterly crap. The deck is so shallow and thin that it’s like typing on a piece of paper. Especially coming from a keyboard with full-height mechanical keys.

The ease of Touch ID unfortunately cannot trump typing comfort. I can foresee getting hand fatigue rather quickly in using the Magic Keyboard. It’s a shame Apple doesn’t allow third-party keyboard makers to integrate a Touch ID sensor. Or Apple can simply make a keyboard worth of avid typists. The company certainly used to make external keyboards with proper height and key travel.

I’m sticking with my Keychron K8.

Any song

I don’t really have any topic to write about today, so this will just be a train of thoughts. It’s important to keep up the writing even when I have absolutely nothing coming to mind. Often times I would troll twitter to look for news topics and whatnot, but this morning I am drawing a complete blank. I don’t want to write about former President Trump getting deposed in New York today. Hey look, the markets are up so far!

There’s a natural ebbs and flows when it comes to working in education. The middle of August is sort of the deep breath before plunging back into the bustle of the regular academic semester. But we don’t get to relax, at least not for those of us in IT support. We are busy getting things ready: the multitude of computer labs on campus, and making sure incoming new faculty have computers ready to go for Fall. With a week and half to go before classes begin, the deadline is quickly looming.

And then once I get home from all of that, I’ve got my own round of things to do. I imagine most other single people would simply collapse onto a couch and veg out of a bit before even thinking about dinner. Well, I don’t have a couch. Soon as I enter the home and put my stuff down, I start a pot of a rice cooking. In between that 30 minutes of cook time, I put my stuff away properly, wash up a bit, clean the floors, and cook the rest of dinner.

I take my time to eat dinner though, because that is never to be rushed. Not after an already long day at work. Once I’m done eating, then it’s an hour of piano practice. And after that I would get some reading in. Then it’s already time for bed. In a way I’m like a kid that have an evening of homework to do. That’s why I jokingly refer to my weekday nights as school nights.

That’s it for today! Off to work.

Dim sum on a Friday

My friends and I have been consistently getting together for lunch on Fridays. We live in the same area so it’s easy to meet up. They have the freedom of working from home, and I work only a few blocks from home. Lunch on Fridays is a nice reprieve from the work week, a sort of early start to the weekend. We’re privileged to have jobs that allow us the leisure to do so.

Last Friday we went a bit ambitious. Because our respective afternoons were decidedly not busy, we went to get dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. And if you’ve ever gone dim sum, you know those things take hours. At popular spots on weekends, you will be waiting an hour just to get seated. Koi Palace is significantly less busy on a Friday noon, but even then we had to wait about 20 minutes for a table. Apparently there were lots of party of fours.

I was not surprised, because I knew there would be plenty of Chinese uncles and aunties - since retired - lunching at Koi Palace. What better social spot than dim sum? You sit and chat for a few hours, whilst munching on this and that. I hope my parents will do exactly that as well, once they are retired. My related uncles and aunts already do so back home in China.

So it was a bunch of retired Chinese people, kids that don’t yet have school, and then us at Koi Palace. If you’re able to, I highly recommend going dim sum on a weekday. It’s far more chill and relaxed than weekends. But then you can probably say that for lots of places, like a museum or theatre.

It's not on me

There’s a huge burden that comes with being the son of immigrants. I was basically the conduit between my parents and the English-speaking world as soon as I had an elementary grasp of the language. That means I got thrust into interpreting the adult world well before I was supposed to; interactions that few other kids would experience. They get to go to McDonalds and wait for the food. I had to go to the counter to order.

With that kind of childhood comes a psychosomatic duty to help my parents that lasts to this day. Even when I am no longer needed or there’s really nothing for me to do. Since I’ve moved out, it is my younger brother who lives with my parents. It’s up to him now to assist them with any English-language needs. I’m supposed to be relieved of duty, living my own life. I’ve long already put in the work.

Yet these days when I see my parents having difficulties navigating American society, I still experience stress on their behalf. As if I must to be there to make things right for them, even when things are beyond my control. Because that was me - and only me - for the greater part of my childhood and early adult life. They work so hard to immigrate to this country and give me a different life. I just don’t want to see them suffer unnecessarily.

I think I have to learn to let that feeling go. My brother is a capable and can take care of anything that comes up. There are and will be problems that’s not up to me to solve. It’s not helpful to be stressed over them. Everything can and will be alright without me.

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Everything Everywhere All at Once is the multiverse done correctly! I am so glad I watched it after seeing Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Because had it been reserved, I would have been sorely disappointed at the multiverse treatment in Doctor Strange. Everything Everywhere All at Once is a masterpiece in storytelling, weaving a first-generation Chinese American story into an allegorical tale about the meaning of life.

The film is surprisingly nihilistic! I did not expect to find the positive interpretation of Nietzsche in this movie, one I resonate with profoundly. Because “nothing matters”, we are then free to do anything we want to. A nihilistic view of the world provides the proper perspective for me. The little annoyances of everyday life simply disappear. The big challenges get tackled with a clear mind and plenty of courage. Setbacks and tragedies cannot hurt me: because none of it matters.

This juxtaposes the common view of nihilism: because nothing matters, why try at anything? It’s a defeatist attitude that I am completely against. But whenever I bring up Nietzsche in polite conversation, that’s the reaction I get from people. Something tells me they aren’t ready to accept their ultimate cosmic insignificance. The daughter in Everything Everywhere All at Once explains to the mother that this moment, our lives, is but a spec of dust in the grande scheme of universal time.

Alongside the nihilistic theme is a Chinese American story. An overbearing mother, yearning to undo the mistakes of her parents, creates a monster of a daughter? Most of us first-generation Chinese American kids can relate to that. This is the sort of representation in film that we would want to see: how to tell an Asian American story, without telling an Asian American story.

Everything Everywhere All at Once had better receive some Oscar nominations. Otherwise, it’s AAPI hate!